We believe that therapy can benefit everyone and our dynamic team of therapists work with you to take ownership of your life and your therapy. You’re in the driver’s seat and we’re honored to be along for the ride as a guide and support. We work with you to address your challenges and build on your existing strengths to overcome them. It doesn’t matter what your challenge is called, it’s about finding the solution that works for you.
We provide psychotherapy services in the following convenient Manhattan and Brooklyn locations:
Why do we avoid things that we know make us feel good? Many of us can easily rattle off a list of “self-care” activities but do we actually do them? Identifying areas of our lives that we want to change is a whole lot easier than actually doing the work to make the changes. So why don’t we do what we need to do? While there are a lot of tangible barriers—busy work schedule, financial costs, etc, there is also mental resistance to consider.
It is normal to be afraid of the unknown — it’s part of being human. Anxiety allows us to respond to danger and crisis, and is part of what has enabled us to survive. However, sometimes the anxiety surpasses what is protective and holds us back from diving into the unknown and making change that would be good for us.
So what can we do about that? It’d be great if that fear could simply disappear, but in reality, it is about having awareness and then practicing skills to challenge and overcome the anxiety. For example, say you have wanted to start making time for new hobbies and you have been thinking about trying an improv class for years. Begin by identifying the thoughts that come up when you think about signing up for the first class. Are you worried that you will embarrass yourself? That others will judge you for not being funny? After you have identified the thoughts you can begin to respond and challenge them directly. Tell yourself that not only is it okay to feel this way, but it is normal to feel anxious! Remind yourself that while you do feel anxious, you are going to take the class anyway. If we simply wait for the anxiety to disappear, then we are likely never going to make changes!
Why would we willingly invite something stressful into our lives? Of course we avoid taking actions that are difficult. So remember to acknowledge that you are likely going to feel like you are swimming upstream when you do something outside of your normal routine. If we begin with the expectation that we will come up against resistance we can prepare ourselves to challenge these feelings. Say you want to begin going to yoga classes during the week but feel resistance to making a change to your work-week routine. Tell yourself: “I know this is going to be disrupting and difficult at first, but ultimately I know I will feel good if I practice making time for yoga in my schedule during the week.”
Often our beliefs about ourselves can be an obstacle to making changes that will make us feel good. Do you feel guilty when you prioritize self-care? Does making time for yourself feel too selfish? Many of us struggle to take off of work when we’re sick or will put others’ needs before our own. Instead, as counter-intuitive as it may seem, prioritizing our wellness is not selfish. It will have a positive impact on our relationships and careers because we ultimately will have more to give.
Therapy can be supportive in actively addressing these obstacles to making change. If you would like to learn more about how therapy can help you, reach out to Cobb Psychotherapy to learn more or to schedule a free phone consult.
Have you ever considered psychotherapy for motivation? Attaining the goals that we set for ourselves is no easy feat. Whether it is to create a regular fitness routine, learn a new skill, or set aside time for self-care, it takes hard work to stay motivated and consistent with our plans. However, there are easy fixes you can make to build your motivation, overcome resistance, and stick with your goals. These can be done on your own or with the support of a therapist.
Many clients don’t achieve their goals because of practical barriers. For example, take the goal of playing tennis once per week. Failure to achieve this may not be because you don’t want to play tennis, but because of logistical issues like finding a court. When you find yourself not achieving a goal, try to get a better sense of what’s getting in your way. Is there anything you could be doing differently to make it easier to accomplish this goal? These types of questions can be part of the therapeutic process, and a therapist can work with you to problem solve the practical obstacles and identify solutions to achieve your goals.
When we don’t put something down in writing (in pen), we are more likely to blow it off—especially when it’s something that doesn’t come with more tangible consequences (deadlines for work, due dates for school assignments, etc). Let’s take the goal of spending one hour a week doing a self-care activity like journaling or reading for leisure. For many of us, our needs and wants tend to have the lowest priority, and so when schedules get busy, our self-care is the first to be sacrificed. Try putting specific times in your schedule for activities related to your goals and make them non-negotiable. You can also find ways to remind yourself with phone alerts or post-it notes in strategic places.
Many people suggest reading motivational statements such as “just do it!” and “no pain no gain!” to encourage us to follow through on our goals. Often, these platitudes seem empty and uninspiring (like those cheesy posters we used to have in elementary school). Instead, try coming up with your own personalized coping statements.
So what are coping statements? They are different from overly positive “just do it” messages because they incorporate and acknowledge what makes a task difficult. If we skip acknowledging why something is hard, the statement won’t ring true. The most important thing about a good coping statement is that you actually believe it!
Take the goal of learning a new language with the help of an app like Duolingo. Some examples of effective coping statements may be:
• “I’m already exhausted from work, but I know I’ll feel proud of myself when I finish one lesson and I’m closer to reaching my goal of learning to speak Spanish.”
• “Learning a new language is hard and it seems like I’m never going to get better at it. But every day I practice I will be getting better.”
So what do you actually do with these brilliant coping statements? You find some way to internalize these statements so you can draw upon them when you’re wavering over whether or not to take action towards your goals. How you do this is entirely up to you. Some clients write their coping statements on a notecard and review them several times per day, some have them in their phones and set reminders to read them, and others like to record their statements and listen to them when they feel like giving up.
So what are some of your goals and what’s standing in the way? With the support of a therapist, you can work to overcome the obstacles that stand in the way of you reaching your full potential.
If you are considering psychotherapy for motivation, speak with one of our experts today: